Desi Culture & Toxic Masculinity | 7 Red Flags To Look Out For

toxic masculinity

We have heard numerous ways through which desi culture perpetuates toxic masculinity in the lives of the people. There is a need to put an end to these destructive practices that have resulted in anxiety and depression. Resolving the issues from the root cause is the key! It is important to identify the toxic practices in the desi culture so they can be eliminated one by one. These things are known as a form of ‘manliness’ in our society and are allowed to persist because it is the ‘new’ normal. Here is a list of all such practices that we need to look out for!

Male Privileges

There are certain privileges that are given to men and are considered completely normal. These privileges include staying outside for late hours, traveling alone, and also going out for trips. Some of these practices also include allowing boys to party frequently and hang out with friends often because after all, they are boys! These practices may not be a problem as long as there is equality and the same is allowed for the opposite gender as well. Women are not allowed to do any of these because they are women and they should be confined to their homes. These women are always made to believe that women should stay home and indulge themselves in household chores. It is this comparison and the depiction of toxic male privilege that creates destruction in society.

The Superior Trait

Another destructive practice that we have allowed to persist in society is that men are made to believe that they are superior. This superior trait allows them to exert their authority and dominance over women. They start believing that they are superior therefore, they have power over everything which also includes women. While exercising this power, they commit several crimes such as domestic violence. This dominance in the form of control and violence becomes poisonous and results in abuse and depression for the victim.

‘Boys will be boys’

Since childhood, the bad behavior of boys is tolerated and even normalized. They are made to believe that boys can do this because after all, they are boys! It is this toxic trait that destroys the personality of men as they grow up. They grow with the same idea that since they are boys, they will not be held accountable. It is their belief that they can get away with anything. There is a need to end this damaging practice because it not only ruins the childhood of the children but also adversely affects their future.

Lack of skills

One practice that is increasingly common in the desi society is to lay down the burden of all household chores on the females. The men of the family easily exempt themselves from this. It is not even about the complicated or the harder chores but basic skills like cooking and cleaning. Men of the desi families are unable to even make the basic dish that they have for breakfast. The common belief is that women belong inside the house therefore, they should know such skills. On the other hand, men belong outside the house therefore, they are only responsible for the outdoor chores. It is important for both men and women to be proficient in the basic skills as they are necessary for every individual.

Shaming for being expressive

The boys in our society are always considered ‘strong’. It is a common phrase that boys don’t cry. They are made to believe that they don’t have to express their emotions. It is a part of their strength that they have to hide their emotions and appear strong in front of others. Even in childhood, if a boy is seen crying, he is asked to be quiet because he is a boy! This shaming upon expressing emotions later appears to be more destructive because these emotions keep on piling up and make men extremely violent. This violence is then exerted upon women in the form of domestic violence.

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Normalizing misogyny

Misogyny is defined as a hatred of women. It can also be translated as sexism or discrimination against women. It has become increasingly common to discriminate against women. Women are objectified, catcalled, and controlled. These are all results of being a misogynist. Such people have strong stances about gender roles as well and are resistant to any progress. They do not favor any feminist elements and are completely against any such practice. This also builds in hatred for events such as Aurat March and any other feminist rally where women demand basic rights for themselves.

Equating manliness to physical strength

In our desi society, manliness is equated with physical strength. A person who has to show his masculinity must exhibit physical strength. This usually results in negative consequences. Men try to exert this masculinity inside their households over women and end up beating their women only to exert their masculinity. They make women feel inferior and inflict abuse upon them because they try to control women through physical strength. There is a need to change the concept of masculinity and physical strength. Masculinity must be equated with good manners, gentlemanly behavior, and respect for women.

Women, on one hand, are morally policed all the time, and boys, on the other hand, are allowed to get away with everything only because they are boys. These practices have instilled toxic masculinity in our society and made us believe in this new normal. It is of utmost significance that these practices are revised and stereotypes are broken. This is so that the violence and abuse that is inflicted on women can be stopped.

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